No matter what your New Year’s resolution is, now that we’re a week into 2019 this is the time to be proactive. Sure it’s still the beginning of January, but did you know that 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail by February? Part of that is because we’re not always disciplined or dedicated to following through, but experts also warn these are common reasons our New Year’s resolutions are bound to fail.
- Set too big of a goal - Setting and reaching goals triggers the brain to release dopamine and that helps motivate us to keep going, but choosing a goal that’s too big and hard to achieve can keep us from experiencing that pleasure response. So neuroscience expert Spencer Gerrol advises breaking your goal down into smaller, measurable chunks so you get that pleasure response along the way that helps the brain form a habit.
- Forget to track progress - Actually seeing your improvement, even if it’s just tiny increments, will help you successfully reach your goal. Visually tracking the progress helps you reflect on how far you’ve come and creates pride, which also helps you avoid failing.
- Set a vague goal - A successful resolution needs to be measurable, attainable and timely, so basically, you won’t get specific results without a specific goal.
- Set an unsustainable goal - Dreaming big is great, but having a resolution that’s so huge you can’t see your progress despite all your efforts and sacrifices could weigh on eventually lead you to slip back into your old ways.
- Take an "all or nothing" approach - Change is gradual and may come in baby steps, then bursts, and will probably include some setbacks, the important thing to remember is that it’s not a failure if you don’t achieve your goal fully and immediately. Change isn’t all or nothing and that kind of mindset could lead to disappointment.
- Do it alone - We don’t always want those close to us to see that we struggle with something we want to change in our lives, so we may want to keep our resolutions private. But we need each other for support and having a cheerleader on your team to encourage you with your goal can help you move forward and that’s what it’s all about.
Source: Apartment Therapy
While some folks may have issues with Uber or Lyft, it’s apparently not stopping most people from relying on them to get around.
A new Pew Research poll finds that the amount of Americans relying on ride-hailing apps to get them from place to place is at an all time high. In fact, 36% of Americans have used a ride-hailing service like Uber or Lyft, which is up from 15% in 2015. That same year a third of people hadn’t even heard of such services.
Not surprisingly, younger people are the most likely to use such services, with 51% of those ages 18 to 29 using ride-hailing services, as compared to 24% of those 50 and older. Richer folks are also more likely to use them, with those making $75K or more twice as likely to use them as those making less than 30K.
But even though more people are using these services, they aren’t necessarily being used often. The survey finds that only 10% of people say they use ride-hailing services weekly, while just 2% use them ever day or almost every day. The majority of folks (67%) use them less than once a month, with about 22% saying they use them on a monthly basis.
Source: Pew Research
If you’re lucky, you’ll marry a man with a mother who is welcoming and loving and accepting, but all too often we hear about women who’ve been forced to deal with some truly awful mothers-in law. Time and time again, these MILs from hell can be pretty outrageous, and folks have no issue sharing some of the awful things these women have done.
Buzzfeed recently shared a thread featuring a boatload of MIL horror stories, which just prompted a bunch more folks to chime in, and some of the things these moms have done are truly unbelievable.
MIL horror stories include:
- “During my wedding reception, my ex mother-in-law interrupted our first dance and asked to cut in and only dance with her son while I sat it out.”
- “My MIL took my dog to a shelter (while I was out of state with her son), and had my dog put down before I got back. She told the shelter that the dog tried to attack her, which I know is a lie because she was the kindest dog I've ever had. It still breaks my heart.”
- “My former MIL would give us gifts and then ask for them back if we weren't using them in the way or timeframe she wanted.”
- “My mother-in-law gave my son a DNA test without me knowing.”
- “Before my husband and I got married, my mother-in-law whined to my family that she was losing her only son and my aunt reminded her she wouldn’t be losing anyone, but gaining a daughter. And my MIL said to my whole family, ‘What do I need a daughter for? I already have a dog.’”
- “My MIL called my dad three weeks before our engagement party to recruit him in helping break my fiancé and I up.”
- “When I was nine months pregnant with my first child, my MIL asked me to stand up and turn around. After I did, she said, ‘Ew, when I was pregnant you could never tell from the back.’”
- “At my wedding, my MIL wanted her own make-up and hair artist, as well as her own changing room so she could do an outfit change. When she was told this wasn’t an option, she yelled at me for ruining HER day.”
- “My mother-in-law cut my 1-year-old's hair when I was out of town without asking me.”
Click here for more truly horrible MIL stories.
We all know those couples who seem so in-sync with each other that they finish each other’s sentences and refer to themselves as “we.” You may even be part of one of those couples, and according to new research, that’s a good thing. A recent study from the University of California finds that couples who say “we” are actually happier.
Researchers analyzed data from 30 different studies involving around 5,300 people and found a distinct link between “we” talk and a happy, healthy relationship. Researchers looked at relationship outcomes, relationship behaviors, mental and physical health and found that couples who refer to themselves as we tend to actually be happier.
So while we may roll our eyes when our friend uses “we” to tell us how much she and her partner loved a movie they saw on Netflix, it’s a sign she feels like they’re a team. The study finds that couples who use “we” a lot are probably more focused on their partnership and less selfish. It means they’re close and think of themselves as a team and science says it’s a sign of a happy relationship. So if you’re part of a “we” partnership, who cares if others find it annoying. Your partner has your back and you know it and there’s no shame in that.
Source: Elite Daily