Ultimatums get a bad rap in relationships, but they’re not always unfair and unjust. And sometimes they can actually help make a relationship better, like when they help you set boundaries and communicate what you need and value from your partner. So what makes an ultimatum healthy? When it’s given in a calm moment while you’re both listening and being respectful, not threatening, according to relationship strategist Anna Gonowon. Experts say these ultimatums can actually improve your relationship.
- “I need time to get ready” - If you need some time to get ready before you go out and your S.O. doesn’t ever seem to get that, it can cause a strain on your relationship and could lead to fights. So be direct and let your partner know what you need so you’re on the same page.
- “I will choose to do something else if you stay on your phone” - If your partner is always glued to their phone and you’re over it, it’s okay to get the message across that their behavior isn’t okay with you.
- “That makes me uncomfortable, please don’t say that again” - It’s healthy to start with how you feel so your partner gets it and then set the boundary so it (hopefully) doesn’t happen again.
- “When you message your ex, it makes me feel hurt” - Telling your partner this makes it clear where you stand and from there, they can choose to see your side or not, and if they don’t, you’ll have to decide if it’s a dealbreaker for you. But coming from a place of concern instead of anger or resentment may help.
- “We don’t always need to watch TV together if we want to watch different things” - An ultimatum can be as simple as coming to a compromise on screen time. And that fight about what to watch gets old fast.
- “Either we’re exclusive, or I have to think about if I want to continue this” - This is about defining the level of commitment you’re both willing to make. Calmly and clearly explaining that you don’t want to see other people lays your side out there and if they don’t feel the same way, you can decide if you want to move on or not.
- “We need to be able to save money” - Talking finances can be tricky, but doing it in a calm, yet concerned way, may give you a better outcome. Be upfront about financial expectations and the ground rules that work for both of you, especially if you share a bank account.
You and your hubby may be on the same page with everything else, but if you’re ready to zonk out at ten and he’s cool with staying up until two in the morning and can still wake up refreshed, you’re not alone. But it turns out, we can blame it on biology. According to Dr. Martha Cortes, who sub-specializes in the treatment of sleep breathing disorders, these are the main biological differences in the way men and women sleep.
- Women need more sleep - In general women are more skilled at multitasking than men, but all that brain power means that typically, women need more sleep so the brain can recover from the work of multitasking, Dr. Cortes explains. How much more? According to The National Sleep Foundation, it’s only about a 20-minute difference.
- Women are more likely to go to sleep earlier - And in turn, we wake up earlier, too. The National Sleep Foundation says this is caused by the difference in circadian rhythm. Dr Cortes explains women tend to have a circadian cycle that’s six minutes shorter, on average, than men.
- Insomnia is more common in women - But sleep apnea is more common in men, about 4% of them have it compared to just 2% of women.
- Women sleep deeper than men - Women require a bit more sleep, but tend to be more productive than the z’s men are catching. A study from the Penn State College of Medicine finds that women with no sleep complaints sleep better than men and young women’s sleep is “more resistant to external stressors.” Which is great when you have roommates or noisy neighbors.
When choosing a baby name people can get inspired in all different ways, whether they want to name a child after a family member, or their favorite musician, or just come up with something unique. But a new survey finds that some millennial parents are looking to the Internet to find their baby names, more specifically, Internet domain names.
A poll by GoDaddy finds that 20% of millennial parents say they’ve either changed or thought about changing their baby’s name based on domain name availability. As for why parents would purchase or obtain a child’s domain name before birth, 45% said they wanted to reserve it for the future, while 42% used it as a digital baby book, and 42% wanted it in order to be able to teach kids how to use the Internet.
Online presence is particularly important to younger parents, with 47% of them saying it’s crucial that their child have one early, something only 27% of Gen Xers agree with. What’s more, 38% of millennial parents say they have created, or are thinking about creating a website for their kids, something only 20% of Gen Xers say.
- As for why parents think their kids need a website, 48% say it will be important for a future job search, while 47% did it for college application purposes. In addition, 37% believe personal websites will replace social media, so they’ll be necessary.
Source: SWNS Digital
When students arrive at St. Louis University in Missouri for the fall semester they’ll have a new aid to help them navigate the campus – Amazon Alexa. The private four-year university is installing 2,300 Alexa-enabled Amazon Echo Dots in all residence halls and student apartments, providing students with answers to over 100 specific questions about the campus and activities.
The devices will be managed by Amazon’s Alexa for Business, and not cost students anything. They will be operated by a central system that won’t have anything to do with student’s personal accounts and it also won’t retain any of the student’s personal info.
This is the first time a Echo Dots will be installed in every residence on a school’s campus, although last year Arizona State University tested a similar program, putting 1,600 Echo Dots in engineering students’ live-work spaces. St. Louis University tested a pilot program last year and got positive feedback from students, although some did have privacy concerns. The school notes that anyone who does can simply unplug the device and store it in their room for the school year.
Eyelash extensions are a big trend in the beauty world right now, but not every salon or spa who offers the service knows what they’re doing. A woman learned that the hard way recently when she went to get lash extensions and left with her eyes sealed shut because the salon used super glue to apply them.
According to the owner of Fara Beauty Salon in Thailand, a client came in with her eyes glued shut after her lash extension were put on with super glue. Thankfully, they were able to help her out. A video shared to Facebook shows their technician’s removal process, which is pretty horrible, too. She applies an oil to break down the glue and then picks off each individual lash. So instead of leaving the customer with long, lush eyelashes, she ended up with inflamed eyes and stumpy lashes.
So let’s point out the obvious first - super glue and lash extensions don’t mix. There’s a medical-grade adhesive that should be used on your lashes and they should only be attached to the natural lash, not to the skin, according to Clementina Richardson, celeb lash expert and founder of Envious Lashes.
And even though lash extensions can be pricey, this isn’t the place you want to cheap out, as tempting as it might be. Safety is important - these are your eyes! So let this be a lesson to us all. Do your homework and see a licensed technician at a reputable salon for eyelash extensions because we can’t handle another horror story like this.
Source: Hello Giggles